When you're deep in shit...

When you are deep in shit, time is muter than yogurt.
When you are deep in shit, your lips are a different colour.
When you are deep in shit, you are dipped in shit, you should be served with a bit of olive oil and urine dressing.

When you are deep in shit, you don't realize the difference between the temperature and temperature. Your hands, your arms, your legs and your genitals are like worms with no heads wrapped around each other, crying out silent in quiet, warm, peaceful shit that resembles home...sweet home... That's what shit tastes like, sweet and sour with a bitter kick, better old, best served cold, like Pinot Grigio.

When you are deep in shit, you fall in love with your nose blocked, your eyes locked, your smile numb. You'd think love is all you need to fight shit, as it turns out your love descends from your shit, your deep, smelly, perfectly figured, meticulously passed with time to spare on the toilet, always comes first and later, later, later there's always time for love...
But my dearest, you can't see, for you, love is shit and shit is home... home... where everybody knows your name...

Come over one last time...

I can’t believe I can’t spell believe. where to sir? How did all your feelings vanish so easily and mine rushed deeper and deeper? How can I tear out my eyes without blinking? what do I see in my hair that makes me wanna vomit? I feel burnt... I feel burnt into my very core... I ask you when you’re gonna be here and you say late!!!! how late exactly? one year? two years? How can you be so dead inside and yet my flooding emotions surround you secondly and then it’s gone... I have to be careful to keep them to myself next time, ‘cause I’m sure it’s what tickles any dead soul to arise as if they share it... No one could, no one would. It’s me... It’s me, the heart that beats lust every second and circulates love subsequently... Who can see it behind the ice cold look. Who would want to feel it now and again? I feel so dead and yet you want to come late... probably after the match... There is always a match and the winner takes it all while the loser has to fall... I wish there was a shorter passage to hell, so I could save my time rehearsing it. The letters are dormant in my head. I don’t even wanna bother arranging them to make a word. Loneliness is getting through to me and it might take my breath away tonight. I don’t wanna see the morning dark as the bed lacks the evening light. Who would guess that I’d be madly in love with a corps...

It`s not an easy game to play...

I`m having nightmares again. It`s funny when you want to pull your fingers out and you can`t do it. Life is bitter, even when I`m dreaming. The minutes are 98 seconds each and the seconds are a year long. What`s going through your mind that makes you want to leave the life your living as a bubble caught up in the deep blue waves like the colour of your hair rays with split ends. You really have to treat it some time... Your eyes go smaller than the freckles around your upper lip that crashes the sound trying to come out of the hole beneath it. It goes round and round with tears to pound the arteries not the heart `cause it`s too tired to shake the muscles. I can`t breathe, since the sound of the exhale disturbs me. I need my peace. How many blankets did you throw away last night? You said it was gonna be warm but it wasn`t...it never is. I got my fingers stuck on your icy figure, will you please move away so that they fall off. I tried so hard last night when I went to grandpa`s house in my dream and grandma was just a solid object lying beside him. He never moved her after she died. I tried to scratch the walls, the steps the mirror but I couldn`t find my fingers. It was so dark. Mom says you can never find anything. It`s always right there in front of your eyes, in the top drawer...But I found one thing mom. My very own loneliness in the dark and I enjoyed the shadows passing by every once in a while but none of them stayed for a cup of tea. They had to catch the flight and it was late. Next time, I`m gonna catch it too through the window that opens out just enough to fit the slide of the shadows that want to escape. Next time I will fit too, `cause I found my shadow...in the top drawer...